Apple Pie and Toasted Muesli

2006-09-04T13:05:00.000-07:00

hello world

i am pleased to be with you.

Allergy Woes

2006-09-01T11:02:00.000-07:00

Hello faithful blog readers...

I am now fairly settled in Geneseo...My house is lovely, my kitty is here with me, and I have three of the best housemates I could have imagined. My classes seem pretty interesting too. The biggest difficulty I'm dealing with right now is the severe allergies I seem to have developed this summer (I've never had allergies before) that have kept me in low level misery for the last three weeks or so. It feels like someone has jammed a potato into my nasal passages. I am very frustrated and I've been taking heaps of different medications and none of them seem to be very effective (although one of them is pretty good at making me as tired as anything.) If anyone has any allergy suggestions let me know. It sucks. I've been breathing out of my mouth for three weeks. Anyway, though, other than that things are going pretty well. I've been busy trying to see everyone and meet some of the freshmen as well. Tonight we're having an ice cream social for the new students and I'm looking forward to that. This weekend may be a bit lonely because Amber and Boo are both away and I don't think I'm going to be able to go to church on Sunday because I'm going to visit relatives. I'm actually looking forward to winter so all the plants will die and I'll be able to breathe again. I don't want to think about how discouraging this will be if I have these allergies for the rest of my life. Actually, I'm even more afraid that I've developed an allergy to my cat. I don't know if that can happen but I really hope not. I think it's probably just pollen.

Telephone Interviewer

2006-08-14T17:38:00.000-07:00

This job is seriously one of the hardest I have ever had, I mean in terms of just trying to get myself through each shift. It just seems to take soooo long and be sooooo boring. I only have six days of work left and it still feels like a huge burden. Sigh. I'm doing VBS this week as well, which is actually really fun. I'm in charge of eight preschoolers, who are super cute and actually very well behaved. Today was the first day and it went well. I have to be honest, I'm so sick of working though. Both jobs are wearing me out in different ways. I only have a week and a half left, but I have to be honest, I'm a little bit dreading it. I can't wait to back to school.

Thunder Update

2006-07-31T09:02:00.000-07:00

God is good. After three difficult and chancy weeks, my dear little Thunder seems to finally be turning around. The last couple of days she has started eating and drinking on her own, and she's been able to stay hydrated without injections of fluids. It's tremendously encouraging to see her doing so much better. She is more affectionate than ever and seems to have her energy back as well. Its also a relief to me not to have to be medicating, syringe feeding and injecting her all the time. She's lost a lot of weight and is very thin, but she is active and bright eyed and I'm just so happy to have my little kitty back.

Just an update for my mates in New Zealand, your silly Mel is currently working her butt off at a farm, hoeing and weeding and picking blueberries (but hopefully not slaughtering chickens this year), and I'm also working for a market research company giving telephone surveys! Actually I'm still in training for that. Its a very boring job but I'm grateful to have a job at all. I have four weeks left until I start school next semester, which I am really looking forward to. Take care and stay warm, all of you in the southern hemisphere!

Cat Care

2006-07-17T19:32:00.000-07:00

My dear kitty Shadow was put to sleep last Monday. My heart absolutely retched when we had to do it. We buried her in our backyard.

For the past two weeks, my beloved kitty Thunder has been in and out of the vets dealing with some sort of kidney problems caused by the anesthesia from her tooth extraction. She was at the vets house all weekend on an IV and while she's home I have to feed her by hand six times a day with a syringe. Fortunately, I don't have a job yet so I'm home to do it, but its exhausting and it means that I'm going to be at parents house for the rest of the summer. It's been a long past couple of weeks with the cats, and very expensive, and we're still not sure if Thunder is going to pick up or not. If she doesn't get better...I am going to be devestated. Thunder is absolutely my favorite animal that I have ever met and it just kills me to see her sick and not acting like herself. At the same time, I'm not sure how much longer I can give her round the clock care and expect my parents to pay the enormous vet bills.

If you can bring yourself to pray for a cat, please pray that she will get better, for her sake and mine. I do know that she is just a cat, and that pets don't live forever....but she really means a lot to me, and to lose her so soon after Shadow would be really hard. She's not that old and I'd like to see her live some more happy years yet.

Shadow

2006-07-06T06:14:00.000-07:00

My dear black kitty Shadow may be leaving us soon. She has a large mass in her abdomen and surgery seems too risky because she is such an old cat, and there is a low chance of helping her anyway. But I will miss her, because she has been a very sweet pet for the last 13 years, and I can hardly remember being without her.

BORN IN THE USA!

2006-06-29T12:14:00.000-07:00

Man. I am HOME! Its amazing! How strange to be back in New York. And strange that it doesn't really feel that strange. My cat is reluctant to let me out of her sight. I think she's afraid I'm going to leave again. Man! My house smells like MY HOUSE. New York in summer smells like NEW YORK IN SUMMER. It's just delightful. And, if I'm really lucky, I can even drive my car :) I went to bed last night with three flannel blankets and a down duvet...woke up an hour later about to die from the heat. It's also amazing to have a cat sleeping on my bed that actually purrs (although Ginger is wonderful, but she has limitations). Man. 38 hours of travel is what it took me to get here. A big warm hug to all of you that I left in New Zealand (in winter) and a big high five to all the New Yorkers I'm returning to! And I have to end with, Praise God, because He helped me through the agonizingly long trip and I am so blessed to have such a lovely home and family to come home to. And also because going to New Zealand was one of the coolest things I have ever done in my life.

Funny

2006-06-25T13:20:00.000-07:00

Does the Lord think I'm funny when I make jokes?

Humility

2006-06-21T13:42:00.000-07:00

The man who thinks he knows something does not yet know as he ought to know. 1Cor 8:2

Thank you Paul! A more Socratic sentiment couldn't be found. Or rather, it seems that Socrates was onto something Biblical when he said that he was wise because at least he knew that he didn't know much.

I like this statement very much.

Question for Christians

2006-06-20T17:57:00.000-07:00

"You need to distinguish between your faith in God and your faith in the Bible."

Feedback on this statement please.

What if "Jesus" was substituted for "God"?

I would appreciate your thoughts.

Quiz for all Non-Americans

2006-06-20T17:18:00.000-07:00

Ok, feedback from the last quiz convinces me that an inimate knowledge of the NZ flora and fauna is not the most important thing on people's mind. So here's another quiz, should have a broader appeal:

How much do you know about America?

True or false:

Flags are permitted in public schools.
Prayer is permitted in public schools.
Children in public schools recite a pledge of loyalty to America everyday.
The official "Pledge of Alliegence" does not mention God.
The proper posture during the recitation of the pledge or the singing of the national anthem is the right hand on the forehead in a soldier's salute.
English is the official language.
The Statue of Liberty was a gift from France.
Abraham Lincoln wrote the Declaration of Independence.
The Civil War was between North and South America.
At the time of the Civil War, Native Americans were already in reservations or enslaved.
The Western half of the US was purchased from Napolean Bonaparte.
There are one dollar coins in US currency.
Geneseo is in Western New York.
The national bird is the bald eagle.
"Prohibition" refers to the prohibition of Communist propaganda.

Multiple Choice:

John Brown was:

a) a president b) an abolitionist c) a boxer d) an astronaut

2. The stripes on the American flag stand for:

a) the 13 years of British oppression b) the 13 signers of the Declaration of Independence

c) the 13 original colonies d) the 13 provinces in Europe that the Pilgrims came from

3. The Beatniks were:

a) a rock band b) a group of poets c) Russian spies d) your mom

4. What state encompasses the National Capital?

a) New York b) Connecticut c) Maryland d) Washington

5. What was "the Red Scare"?

a) a Native American uprising b) a national fear of communists c) an influenza epidemic

d) a violent political party

Quiz about Birds and Animals and Plants

2006-06-20T16:39:00.000-07:00

If you do well on this quiz....then you're cool.

True or false: Eels live in alpine areas in New Zealand.
True or false: There are three species of snakes in New Zealand.
True or false: There are no viable populations of native birds on Guam.
Where are a kiwi's nostril's located?
What species of tree do New Zealand possums especially like to chomp?
On which island in New Zealand is the kauri mainly found?
True or false: New Zealand beeches are related to the North American birches.
True or false: New Zealand robins are related to North American robins.
True or false: New Zealand has two species of freshwater land turtles.
True or false: New Zealand rabbits are related to North American and European rabbits.
Name four species of New Zealand native birds that exist only as remnant populations and would not exist without the intervention of humans.
Where do kakapos live?
What family of birds did the moa belong to?
True or false: Europeans introduced members of the family carnivora to NZ.
What two general types of lizards are found in NZ?
What is honeydew?
What kind of forest is honeydew found in?
What is the world's largest rail?
True or false: Haast eagles used to prey on moas.
True or false: Dinosaur fossils have been found in New Zealand.
True or false: There are no native NZ mammals.
True or false: NZ has problems with seabirds carrying rabies from Australia.
Are the scree slopes in the Southern Alps a result of human activities?
True or false: The Canterbury plains were covered with native forest when the Europeans arrived.
True or false: Kauri gum is commercially valuable.
True or false: Tuatara are closely related to gila monsters and komono dragons.
True or false: A three year old tuatara is sexually mature.
True or false: Native NZ freshwater fish tend to be brightly colored.
What is unique about a kakapo's diet?
What is whitebait when fully grown?

Answers will be posted in a few days.

Welcome Flats

2006-06-19T23:23:00.000-07:00

I went tramping this weekend. The beginning and end of my backpacking career. We hiked the Copeland Track to Welcome Flats Hut, which is in Glacier country on the west coast of the South Island (of New Zealand, although if you don't know that's where I am you probably shouldn't be reading my blog). It was a six and a half hour hike to the hut, but we left late and did the last hour and a half in the dark, which I found pretty scary. The very end had a difficult river crossing which was very icy and I ended up getting soaked to the waist. Our party was movng slow and I began to get very cold and scared, although fortunalty we knew at that point that the hut was not more than 20 mins away. Yet we went so slowly, I thought I was going to freeze to death. Even then, our leader felt it was necessary to try to kill every possum we came across with rocks, and I tell this just to illustrate the Kiwi hatred for the possums.

Physically, I did pretty well. I was impressed that I was able to keep up pretty well, even though I had never carried a pack before. I must be in better shape than I thought.

It was a bit scary. I kept thinking the whole way in the dark "I don't want to do this again." But the rest of the weekend went quite smoothly. We spent Sunday staying warm in the hot pools outside the hut, which were really nice (see the picture above). At that point there was snow all over the mountainside, because it snowed on Sat night. Monday was beautiful and we had a lovely hike out, and got home by 10pm. God really blessed our weekend, and I am very grateful for that. We didn't even get rain, and we were on the west coast for four days! I'm really glad I went, although I don't think I'll be doing any more overnight tramping in the future. In any case, it was a good finale to my adventures in New Zealand, and now I have the next week to take exams and bring closure to a bunch of things before I head back home.

On a side note, I have the sweetest Dad ever. Because I'm going to have a ten hour layover in LA on the way back, he booked me a hotel room with a king size bed!! Gosh. I am going to stretch my wee body out and use every inch of it.

Yin and Yang

2006-06-14T04:18:00.000-07:00

I think the Eastern philosophers were onto something with the idea of the universe being filled with diametrical opposites...I so often feel like I'm being pulled in two directions at once, straining under tension...I'm not talking about a good/evil or God/world type of distinction...I'm talking about gray shades...like idealism/practicality, open mindedness vs. confidence in personal belief, what seems doggedly loyal and what seems reasonable, wanting to be tough and wanting to be delicate, wanting to be cared for and wanting to be independent, the beauty of the abstract forms and the beauty of messy human love....even politics, democrats and republicans! Things that are moral, but neither side is fully good or bad, but there is merit on both sides...like morality is in the balance...like there is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven. Maybe that's why Ecclesiastes 3 is one of my favorite chapters in the whole bible. Maybe that's why I have such a hard time committing to one side or the other...why I'm a politically moderate American!

Hope

2006-06-13T18:41:00.000-07:00

This is one of the paths into Ilam Gardens in winter. I just thought it was a very hopeful looking picture. If anyone has a picture that inspires hope please send it to me. Our hope is in God...what that means exactly I'm not sure, but I know God is the source of hope. Anyway, I like hope. It's so very...hopeful.

Question

2006-06-13T14:26:00.000-07:00

Is there a way to be sola scriptura and not ignore the history of the church through the last 2000 years? Perhaps to consider the bible as the only final authority but to say look, lets take a close, examined view at how the church (and history) has operated, and use our God given reason to learn from it? Some examples:

We might conclude that excessive suspition of a certain sin is bad (ie. burning people for being witches) because it provides a deady outlet for people's gripes against their neighbors.

We might conclude that full scale wars raged in the name of religion have generally been cruel and an outlet for racial hatred (ie. the crusades, the Holocaust)

We might conclude that absolute spiritual authority given to one person or a small group of people can lead to corrupt practices and religion becoming very political (ie the church in the first couple centuries of this millenium, indulgences and the like)

We might conclude that an overhastiness to condemn new ideas has led to many problems (ie, the treatment of Galileo, Copernicus, Luther)

We might conclude that pandering to fear and getting people into a mob mentality is usually bad (insert your own example).

etc. etc. Im just throwing these out off the top of my head. I know that history is a slippery thing and that reading accounts from a different point of view can throw things in a different light (try reading different accounts of Martin Luther's life!!). But still, if a certain interpretation of Scripture led to so many obvious problems and abuses in the past, is that reason to say, maybe we were interpreting this wrong?

Feedback please.

Snow

2006-06-11T15:21:00.000-07:00

Sometimes the snow comes down in June....and I've seen it with my own eyes!!

Worry

2006-06-09T12:05:00.000-07:00

There is a lot of wisdom in worrying about only one day at a time. Especially when airplanes are involved. "Each day has enough trouble of it's own."

Note to self:

Dear Subconscious,

Please CHILL OUT.

Love, Mel

The Catholic "Problem"

2006-06-06T05:28:00.000-07:00

I don't like when evangelicals mock Catholicism in any way. It seems to me most disrespectful. Evangelicals have a right to disagree (as strongly as they wish) with Catholic doctrine, but to mock it boils me as very rude. I quite dislike Christians mocking any religion, be it Mormanism or Buddhism or anything else. We are supposed to treat others as we would like to be treated, and I certainly don't like to have my faith mocked.

That said, I do initially take it somewhat personally when I hear evangelicals implying that Catholism is a cult (which is not the same as mocking; this is a genuine opinion on their part). I did grow up in the Catholic church, my mom is Catholic and while I am not a member of the Catholic church, I consider myself a good portion Catholic in both doctrine and upbringing. Initial reaction aside, I still very much dislike the evangelical opinion that Catholicism is a cult (ie an invalid form of Christianity) because I think it is both wrong and harmful.

Of course, from personal experience I could argue that I have known many Catholics whom I have found to be people of strong and sincere faith. And I am not willing to concede, as many evengelicals do, that they are simply the exceptions that exist in every church. No, the Catholics I know who's faith I respect have themselves chosen the Catholic church...they are a product of the Catholic church, not an accident produced therein.

To exhuast the rest of the ad hominim arguments, (which, though not valid in a strictly logical sense, in spiritual matters do hold some sway), I'm pretty sure that any one humble and disinterested enough could find every abuse committed by the Catholic church to some extent present in the Protestant and Evangelical church....and vice versa. Let's be honest. The sinners in the Catholic church are no different from the sinners anywhere else. The sins of the Catholic church are the same sins committed by other churches as well. That doesn't justify any of them, but for the sake of argument, lets say they cancel each other out.

So for most evangelicals, the objection comes down to doctrine. They see the Catholic church as filled with various superstitions, saints, relics, repedative prayers, all sorts of things that make evangelicals uncomfortable. To be fair to all, I respect their discomfort. I am uncomfortable with some of those things too. Even if I wasn't, they do rather gall against some of the evangelical assumptions. Most evangelicals, when pressed on the doctrine issues that they find so problematic in the Catholic church, will list the biggies...the Marian doctrines, praying to the saints, the transubstantiation of the Euchrist, and the real clincher..."Catholic's believe in salvation by works." To address the most important one first...catholics do not believe in salvation by works. Even if some Catholics see their faith that way, that is not the official doctrine of the Catholic church. Salvation is by grace, through faith...just as it says in Ephesians. The differnece is that Catholism emphasizes the role of good works in proving genuine faith a bit more than some evangelical churches do. The Catholic idea, if examined, is not all that different from a correct evangelical understanding of the second chapter of James.

The less substantial objections...Catholics do not worship or pray to Mary. They ask her to intercede for them....that is, they ask her to pray for them, the way that we might ask our mother or friend to pray for us. The idea of asking a Bible character (other than Jesus) or any dead person to pray for us is pretty foreign to an evangelical understanding...but that is a much less serious matter than if Catholics were making an idol of Mary (by worshipping her) or by praying to her and expecting to recieve things from her...as they have been accused.

The Euchrist is a tricky business and I'm sure I don't understand it well enough to defend it. But it seems that Catholics have decided to take the verse in John 6 that says "My flesh is real food and my blood is real drink" literally, and evangelicals have not. I know the issue goes much deeper than this, and has to do with the nature of the sacrifice of Christ...but what mysteries are these. I very much like the way the Catholics emphasize that our God is a mysterious God...He works in ways beyond our understanding. They glorify him for these "Holy Mysteries." I think that is quite appropriate...I do believe that God can be known...but the way a person is known, and certainly not completely...I think Evangelicalism can package the "knowable God" much too neatly, which makes me think that perhaps we think Him a bit too much like ourselves.

So in my mind, it comes down to this: We are looking to seek, find, and defend the truth. Well, as it was pointed out to me by an astute pastor, the truth is not a set of doctrines...the truth is a person, and that person is Jesus Christ. Therefore, if both Catholism and Evangelicalism seek to know and worship the person of Christ, as he is, the second person of the trinity, God made flesh and man's redeemer, then they both have THE truth at the heart. And when it comes to doctine (which is important, I'm not saying it's not), which is greater, doctrine or our hearts? And if God is greater than our hearts (1 John 3:20), how much greater is he than our doctrine? Therefore, I think we should not be afriad to call both Catholics and Evangelicals alike who are called and loved by God our brothers and sisters. And while we may disagree with each other, let's always be respectful of one another, and trust that God is far greater than we can imagine.

Disclaimer: I did not do research to write this article, partially because it's midnight and I'm just too dang tired, and partially because it would have disrupted my flow. I encourage you to look into my claims about Catholic doctrine for yourself.

James 1:17

2006-06-04T06:31:00.000-07:00

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like the shifting shadows. James 1:17

I have been blessed and I am grateful.

The Folks

2006-06-04T03:06:00.000-07:00

Something about reaching the ancient age of twenty has made me realize that I have really amazing parents. Now that I have to take care of myself and I can kind of think about what it might be like to be a parent, I appreciate more what they have done. I appreciate the sacrifices they've made for me and my brother...like my dad taking the GE job instead of the professorship and working so hard and faithfully at it for twenty years...like my mom staying home with us while we were little, and working in our school when we were in school, driving us in every morning so we wouldn't have to take the bus...moving away from her family and best friend so my dad could take the job he has...both of them making so many sacrifices for each other and staying together for twenty-odd years now. Somewhere in the last year or two I started really seeing my parents as real people, rather then just adults obligated to love and take care of me. I started appreciating the choices they've made and also their real personalities, beyond just being mom and dad, and I can honestly say that in addition to loving my parents prodigiously, I quite like them as well.

Thunder

2006-06-04T02:46:00.000-07:00

Here is the love of my life.
Her name is Thunder.
This adorable little gray cat has been sleeping on my pillow like 20 hours a day ever since I left home. There's no way of telling her I'm coming home soon! She probably thinks I'm gone forever. I'm going to make it up to her though. When I move into my house in Geneseo this summer, she's going to come live with me!! Then she wont have to go through her little cycles of depression everytime I go back to school. I miss my little one so much...she has been my faithful companion since I was ten years old. She's the coolest animal I've ever met.

Humid Days

2006-06-04T02:42:00.000-07:00

Please don't tell me that my hair is frizzy. I know it is. It's been frizzy for as long as I can remember. People have been reminding me that it's frizzy for as long as I can remember. I forgive you all. It's just a sensitive point.

Ow

2006-06-02T17:47:00.000-07:00

I fell and hit my head today. I have a lump the size of an egg on the back of my head. Fortunately a couple of my flatmates were around an heard me moaning on the floor and helped me out a bit. I don't think I got a concussion, but man, my head was ringing for an hour and a half. All it took was some crappy sandals and a wet kitchen floor. Unsteady bipeds that we are, it's a wonder we don't fall down more often.

Spicy Pork

2006-06-02T15:09:00.000-07:00

If you're at a Chinese Restaurant with a long menu, I recommend "Spicy Pork." I'm not sure what the Chinese name of this dish is, but it's absolutely delicious.

Sigh

2006-05-31T14:58:00.000-07:00

Can I just say that one of the reasons I decided to come to New Zealand for only half a year was so that I wouldn't get too attached? Sigh. Don't get me wrong, I'm super excited to be going home soon...but I didn't expect to meet poeple here that I would, like, really miss. They should issue travel advisories about such things. Ah well, four weeks left, I'd like to go out in fine style...meaning lots of fun over study break...studying is for mere mortals (ahem, like me..you just know I'll be bringing my notes on my travels with me). Mmmm.

2006-05-29T00:02:00.000-07:00

I always knew that I possessed something fierce,
something that even in my weak frame
and short stature, despite my silly flirtations,
flaming patiently beneath my youthful face, my giant round eyes,
there was something that was fierce, and could fight if it needed to
something that could hiss at a dragon and stare a monster in the face,
and dare him to move, one muscle
He wouldn’t – monsters can smell you
and know if it’s there, that inner lion’s paw
that keeps its claws sheathed, and sits there,
passive and terrible and full of life

Perelandra

2006-05-28T23:46:00.000-07:00

Ok, that's not really what New Zealand looks like. Think...Perelandra or something. If that were real that would mean some massive air pollution.

X MEN 3

2006-05-28T05:11:00.000-07:00

My mutant name is COGNITO.

The Gay "Problem"

2006-05-28T03:36:00.000-07:00

There is a problem. It’s funny how it occurred to me after watching X Men 3. If you haven’t seen the movie, it has a real interesting premise: a pharmaceutical company has found a cure for mutanism. It is an injection that suppresses the expression of the mutant gene, and can turn any mutant into a “normal” human being. The political situation of “America” is in uproar. Some mutants embrace the cure, for whatever reason…for the spunky teenage Rogue, it is a cure. Her mutation is such that she cannot make physical contact with people without killing them (a tough situation). So she eventually decides that the cure really is what she wants. For many of the mutants, however, the concept of being “cured” of mutanism is an outrage. First, they argue, mutanism is not a disease…they don’t want to be like everyone else! They see the “cure” as an attack on their whole identity as mutants. They think (probably rightly) that this will undermine who they are, and wipe out the whole concept of a mutant. Second, they are afraid that this “cure” will be used against them as a weapon.
Ok, back the issue at hand. So I was thinking, how interesting, that this society is becoming so polarized, and the mutants have almost formed a separate identity: and one that they are willing to protect when threatened. They don’t want to be persecuted, but (most of them) don’t want to be absorbed into the mainstream either.
So I started thinking about the homosexual community that has been taking shape in Western countries. There were enough similarities to get my mind thinking. The homosexual community, persecuted by mainstream culture, has formed its own vast and powerful subculture, with its own strong identity. Another similarity I saw, and you can disagree with this premise if you like, is that homosexuality seems to be, in some cases and to some extent, caused by genetics. Now I know that’s a hot and controversial topic, but I don’t feel like arguing it here. So that is a premise I will be using for my argument, keep it in the back of your mind if you don’t agree, but read on. (As a side note, I also think that in some cases homosexuality can be caused by abuse by a member of the opposite sex, or other types of trauma…those are other problems and are not the cases I am referring to in my argument. I am referring to those people who seem to come from relatively stable lives and find themselves, often accompanied by denial and fear at least at first, attracted to members of the same sex) By the way, I don’t pretend to be any expert on homosexuality: I am myself straight, and I don’t have any close friends who are gay, nor have I had much involvement in any kind of gay community. So what I’m working with are cultural stereotypes, which always contain some truth and some falsehood. So if I am grossly misunderstanding something, correct me please.
So anyway, you have this counterculture forming, with its own very strong identity. Lets say, for example, that geneticists discovered that the attraction of someone to the same sex is triggered by a certain gene, and they have found a way to prevent the expression of that gene. So they’ve found a medical “cure” for homosexuality. Imagine the outrage! The debates! The intense controversy! Imagine the anti-cure marches, the slogans, “We don’t need a cure!” The homosexual community, as a whole, wouldn’t want to be “cured.” What they want is to be accepted.
Now I move into sticky, sticky ground. As most of anyone who would be reading this know, I am a conservative Christian involved mainly in evangelical Christian churches and evangelical Christian subculture. The current accepted dogma of most evangelical churches is “(1)The bible is literally true, (2)inerrant, and (3)applicable to all cultures. (4)The bible says that homosexuality is a perversion and that homosexuals will not inherit the kingdom of heaven, so (conclusion)therefore homosexuality is a mortal sin, and homosexuals must repent and either become straight or remain celibate, or they will go to hell.” The bible does say that homosexuals will not inherit the kingdom of heaven. It does say that homosexuality is a perversion. Evangelicals are not making those things up. On top of that, those phrases are found in two of the most critical and beloved books in the new testament, the book of Romans and the first letter to the Corinthians, written by Paul, the most well known and beloved apostle. The passages are pretty clear so the literalism doesn’t matter too much. If the bible is inerrant than it cannot be that Paul is mistaken on this point, and if it is applicable to our culture than well, it means that homosexuals must repent and either become straight or celibate, or they will go to hell. Based on their premises, the conclusion follows. Evangelicals have a valid argument.
The soundness of an argument encompasses not only its validity but the truth of the premises as well. If the premises are all true and the argument is valid, then the conclusion must be true. Premise 4 is true. If you don’t believe me, read Romans 1. So if we want to examine the evangelical argument, we need to look at premises 1-3.
The weakest premise, in my opinion is premise 1. I don’t think it would be too hard to argue that not all of the bible is meant to be taken literally. This is heresy to some people, but their arguments often lead to contradictions and absurdities. If you want to contest me on this, that’s fine. I have my reasons, and I’ll be happy to share them, but not here. In the case of our homosexuality argument, its not that applicable. Paul’s words in Romans 1 are pretty not-figurative.
The inerrancy of the bible is a really core evangelical belief. When I say core I mean CORE. You can’t attack it without attacking pretty much all of evangelicalism. While I haven’t settled myself on this account, I’m not willing to take on evangelicalism on this point. At least not now. If you’ll notice, I did not identify myself as an evangelical Christian, but one who is involved in evangelical churches and the evangelical subculture. It is the culture that brought the gospel to me in a way I could understand and has taken me into it’s family since. Therefore, at the moment I am trying to work out the homosexual problem within an evangelical framework. While I may question some of their assumptions, attacking them is not my focus now.
Whether the bible is applicable in the same way to all cultures is a little bit more debatable. Most evangelicals would insist on it to some extent. There are some areas were things are a bit fuzzy, and people fall along a spectrum. Like the role of women in the church, for example. Most of the things evangelicals allow to be fuzzy are things that probably should be fuzzy-they are important matters, to be sure, but not the most important….and people who make them the most important are probably taking themselves a little too seriously.
One of the things that makes homosexuality a really sticky issue is the connection, made in 1 Corinthians 6:9-11, of homosexuality with condemnation: “…homosexuals…will not inherit the kingdom of God.” Thus homosexuality is not merely an issue of propriety, like women’s role in the church, but as Peter Jenson, the archbishop of Sydney put it, “a salvation issue.” Issues of propriety we try to get right; if we fail, the church runs a little screwy, and hopefully God sends some wise person to sort it out. Issues of salvation, to all Christians but especially to the evangelical mind, to whom personal salvation is pretty much the main focus, are serious and not to be toyed with. Therefore, if the above argument really is sound and valid, then homosexual behavior is not to be condoned at all costs; to do so could put people on the wrong track to salvation, and cause them to miss out on the kingdom of God. And to me, as a struggling Christian who holds on because I know I will never be happy, content, never be truly alive without the love of God, to have someone miss out on the kingdom of God is a tragedy beyond measure; I can scarcely bear to think of it; it troubles me….a lot.
So anyway, if you are wiser and smarter than I am and you want to try to make some headway with the evangelical homosexuality argument, I suggest going in on the second and third premises. But be careful, and thoughtful, and always respectful. Evangelicals are precious people and their ideologies have done much for our culture.
So now I get to the real problem; within the evangelical context, the treatment of homosexuals is so freakin unfair! Allow me a little color. Or perhaps, allow them. They’re the ones that have to suffer it.
The conclusion I’m working with, then, is that homosexuals must repent and either become straight or celibate or they will go to hell. To begin with, the repenting bit is pretty much across the board. Everyone needs to repent or they will go to hell. In that particular matter there is no differential treatment.
In the matter of sexual purity, that too is across the board. Heterosexual fornication or adultery is just as forbidden as homosexual activity, and is mentioned in the same Corinthians passage. Homosexual and heterosexual youth alike are called to practice self control (through the Holy Spirit – a nebulous concept for non-Christians especially, a challenging one for Christians, but one we must trust). I am not implying that the experience of struggling through the adolescent years are at all alike for someone who is struggling with homosexuality as with someone who is attracted to the opposite sex. No, they must be miles apart. If I am a bit titillated at some cute boy, my youth leader would probably think it’s cute….if some guy was attracted to the same boy, it’s a matter of some distress. Not the same at all. Plus, we come to the final, ultimate and very important difference. The church (and by this I mean the society of the church), imagines with pleasure that someday I may marry some nice young man, and they would certainly enjoy watching the beauty of a young love, a young couple, a young family unfold. The gay youth, imagining that he were accepted by his church family just as perfectly as I might hope, has no such future hope available to him. He is not allowed to be sexually active outside of marriage, and neither am I; but he is not allowed to marry whom he loves, either, whereas that option is always open to me, and cannot be taken away by the church. Indeed, the New Testament letters warn churches against forbidding people to marry. Even in 1 Corinthians 7, when Paul makes the argument that it is better not to marry, he makes it clear that it is not wrong to marry, if one decides to. Although he thinks that one can be more fully united to the Lord if he is single, he acknowledges that not everyone has what it takes to remain celibate, and therefore the option of marriage is always open and always acceptable. There is, therefore, a biblically established social institution for heterosexuals to have their emotional needs for intimacy and their desire for physical sexuality fulfilled. Indeed, “it is better to marry then to burn with passion” 1 Cor 7:9. So, if it’s true that some people have homosexual desires in the same way they I have heterosexual desires, it seems vastly unfair that they are not allowed to marry, and are condemned for burning with passion!
Now, I know that it may sound really prideful for me to call the Lord unfair…I’m not. I’m giving an honest human reaction to a situation that seems incredibly unfair. I know that the Lord is not unjust and not unfair. That’s why this bothers me so much. It’s easy for us to say, “we don’t understand how the Lord works” and that’s true…and easy and cowardly for us to say, since we can kiss our boyfriends without the church’s condemnation! Human love and sexuality is not the end all of life…but it is hugely important to us while we are alive, and I think we owe it to our homosexual brothers (and sisters) to examine their case carefully, and not to write off their sexuality with a shrug and a “it’s the Lord’s will.”
Now the Bible doesn’t establish monogamous homosexual marriage as an institution…most evangelicals (and other Christians as well) would consider such a thing to fall under the condemnation of 1 Cor 6:9-11 passage, and the bit in Romans 1. (I am only using the New Testament references to homosexuality, to avoid arguments about the current validity of the Mosaic law). And now we come to the heart of the problem…the bible doesn’t specifically establish any social institutions for homosexuals…it doesn’t refer to them except in depravity (Romans 1). It doesn’t refer to what homosexuals do after they repent and enter the church…it doesn’t provide any examples of an institution to help them with their particular struggles. And that’s exactly what they have today: no church established institution to help them with their particular struggles.
So this is what the evangelical church is asking of homosexuals: that they leave their homosexual community (where they are accepted) and renounce their lifestyle (required of everyone, to some extent), to give up their identity as a homosexual (the identity that has been fostered by their subculture, in reaction to treatment by the main culture [although we all have to leave our former identity to some extent]), to either become straight (a concept that would make most homosexuals bristle with rage) or lead a life of complete celibacy, without any established institutions for their support in this, while they are constantly watched with suspicion by the church. Not only does that sound like setting someone up for failure, but it’s about the least appealing offer I can think of. No wonder homosexuals, starving for God (as we all are), turn to new age spirituality, Unitarian churches, and anything that will tell them that they are ok where they are, in their homosexual community, reaffirming their identity and giving them at least a semblance of peace. No wonder homosexuals rage at the evangelical church and their expectations.
First of all, I’d like to say I think the church is missing out. Why is it that so many people seem to have that one beloved gay friend who is just the sweetest person they’ve ever met? Why is it that women love to share their problems with their gay hairdresser, or interior designer, or whatever…why do they make such lovable movie characters? How is it that the gay community has managed to form such a warm and supportive subculture in the face of disapproval and condemnation by the Christian mainstream? Its my personal opinion that these may be people with very real and very unique gifts, of mercy, compassion, and sympathy. What extraordinary uses we could have for them in all sorts of ministry. Perhaps that homosexual man could help abused women to learn to trust men again. Perhaps they could be just the friend the anxious teenager needs. Etc etc etc. I’m working off of cultural stereotypes here: obviously, people have all different personality types and abilities. There may be very grumpy, anti-social gay men. They still have a place in the church. Everyone is needed. How hard it must be for homosexuals in the church to believe in Psalm 139: “I praise you Lord, because I am fearfully and wonderfully made?” Except my sexuality Lord, you goofed on that. It’s a tough concept for me, why God would create gay people and then call it a perversion when they fall in love with someone. I know that’s another statement that sounds really bad, and I say it because the verse in Romans specifically refers to burning with lust. In actuality, heterosexual lust is a perversion as well; it’s looking at an immortal soul as if it were an object. But true heterosexual love that wants to deepen into physical intimacy within the context of a committed marriage is beautiful (a whole book of the bible was written about it). I don’t see why homosexual love of the same sort can’t hold some beauty as well, albeit in a different way. I am not ready to say that homosexual love and marriage is provided for in the Bible. But surely not all homosexual love is a perverted lust?
So what? Here it is, just my musings on what an institution within the evangelical church should provide for homosexuals in the church…these are the product of no careful study, just brainstorming…

Homosexuals have a need for emotional intimacy, just like everyone else. There needs to be a way for them to form strong lifelong bonds, the way heterosexuals are able to do in marriage.

There needs to be a way for them to be part of a family, since they cannot marry and start their own.

There needs to be a way for them to be extensively involved in the raising of children, if they choose to, since they cannot marry and have their own.

Their special gifts need to be recognized and used for the good of the church.

If they are expected to remain celibates, which seems the only option open to them at this stage, there must be an extensive, lifelong support network and mentoring involved. Celibates in the Catholic church are never left to do their own thing and expected to succeed at it. They are placed within a strong, closely mentored community of monks or nuns or other types of celibates, including older members of the community who extensively mentor the younger ones. It is recognized that celibacy is a difficult calling, producing the good fruit of a person who is able to channel the love they would have had for one person into love for all the people of the community, if done correctly…if done incorrectly, celibacy can make a person hard, and prude, and rubbery. Singleness among heterosexuals is a kind of celibacy…but it is less intense because the option of marrying remains open. A religious celibate (like a monk) is tied to his celibacy by his vows…a homosexual, by necessity (or perhaps, by a calling).

The greater challenge that homosexuals are called to should be recognized and honored…their calling being one of special honor. Their intimacy and affection is to be channeled towards the whole community, rather than one lover…this is a sacrifice from which the whole community benefits. Perhaps this is part of what Paul is referring to in 1 Cor 7.

So there are some of my thoughts. Please don’t take them as dogma, because I do not have authority to teach about these things…but I hope to get people thinking, for their own sakes and for the sakes of all the people who have not been given a place in the church. Please respond, if you like, thoughtfully and respectfully. And pray about this issue, because it is one that really needs to be engaged, especially as the gay community cements its own identity more and more…

In the love of God

Mel

Sign of the Bellbird

2006-05-26T18:15:00.000-07:00

Last night I stayed in a three sided stone hut with 14 other people...on purpose... actually, sign of the bellbird was great. we roasted marshmallows and made smores, which were a big hit, and we went geocaching. The GPS unit told us that the bit we were looking for was somewhere in Perth, ie, Western Australia, so we eventually decided to scrap it. Then five minutes later Heather found it, like ten meters from the hut. I think it helped that she had found the exact same one last year. Sleeping was interesting and basically non-existant, until i finally crawled out of my sleeping bag and waged war upon the plastic bags that were absolutey ripping in the wind and making the most awful plastic bag crinkly noises. By the time I got all of the plastic bags under control and in the corner of the hut, my socks were wet. I slid back in my sleeping bag and shivered until all of a sudden this horrific snoring started coming from the corner of the hut. It was, like deafening, and there was no way I, or anyone else, was going to get to sleep, save the poor unfortunate who was making the racket. I debated for a while on what to do: snorning is such a public menace, because it can keep a whole HUT full of people awake to let one person sleep, or let that one person suffer for what isn't their fault. I sypathize with snorers. It's not their fault. It's their adnoids fault. Their adnoids need a good talking to, and perhaps a kick in the pants. In any case, I was about to go and search out the snorer and wake him up, for the good of all, when all of a sudden it stopped. He must have woken up. The silence was delicious, all the more so for having been so hard earned. The only other distractions were the rain sprinkling on my sleeping bag from time to time, and the fact that I kept rolling over my torch (read flashlight, Americans). So i did get a couple hours of sleep. In the morning we packed up, loaded the cars and got ready to leave, with visions of hot showers dancing in our heads. Unfortunatly Audrey's car didn't share our vision, and it wouldn't start. So we jumped it and it still wouldnt start. So we had the car battery guy come and it still wouldnt start. he diagnosed it as, in Audrey's words, "the distributer isnt distributing". Indeed. So the last I know, Audrey and Ailers were still waiting for the tow truck to come. Poor Audrey. The weekend of discomfort never ends.
While we were waiting for the tow truck to come, a ranger pulled into our car park and proceeded to question us harshly about what we had been doing there, who gave us permission to camp there, had we injured the habitat of the rare seven eyed spider in any way, etc. I thought he was being a bit harsh when I realized we didn;t look to good: a bunch of male teenagers in a car were in the car park last night (Ailers and Mark saw them) and probably getting very drunk, by the look of the car park, which was covered with little plastic contrianers from some kind of alcohol shots. The ranger went away for a bit, probably to check that we really had cleaned out the hut the way we said we did, and he returned with a plastic bag full of green leaves. "Is this yours?" A bag full of cannabis from our friends the dodgy guys in the car park. We must have looked pretty innocent, because the ranger eventually warmed up a bit after we told him we were from International Christian Fellowship, and Emmelyn asked him about the seven-eyed spiders. In the car I said that if we had told him we were from ENSOC he probably would have arrested us or something.
So anyways that was sign of the bellbird. Wish you could have been there. As far as I know, Audrey still is.

2006-05-24T18:25:00.000-07:00

I read Hosea this morning. Hosea is really cool. Here's one of my favorite bits:

I led them with cords of human kindness,
with ties of love;
I lifted the yoke from their neck
and bent down to feed them. Hosea 11:4

How cool is that!! "Cord of human kindness" such an interesting phrase for God to use to describe something he does.

heres an Aslan bit:

They will follow the Lord
he will roar like a lion
When he roars, his children will come
trembling from the west
They will come trembling
like birds from Egypt
like doves from Assyria
I will settle them in their homes.'
Declares the Lord.

Hosea 11:10-11

So cool. When I think about animals, I am so grateful to the Lord for them. Animals are one of my favorite parts of creation. Speaking of animals, one of my dear cats may have to be put down soon. I hope i get to see her again but I may not, because I still ahve a month before i get home. I hope she makes it. But I am grateful to have had her for so long.

Other People's Blogs

2006-05-23T23:52:00.000-07:00

I am pretty computer illiterate and I can't figure out how to add links to my blog, dispite extensive help and diagrams. So here's almost all the people in the whole world that I know who are on blogspot:

scottym.blogspot.com Scott Mackay
kiwiduke.blogspot.com Nick Duke
peterkang.blogspot.com Peter Kang

Thats it. I suggest Scott's blog because he write in it most regularly (and he has a link to his book reviews).

Audrey is my homegirl

2006-05-23T05:02:00.000-07:00

AN ODE (or REASONS WHY AUDREY IS COOL)

there is a song on my voicemail
my computer is blinking orange
a little present of fudge is oh so yum
the doorbell is ringing
she has come to play scrabble again

Courtesy

2006-05-23T04:42:00.000-07:00

I am very fond of courtesy. In fact, it is very important to me, and unlike many of my moral expectations, this is something i expect of everyone, Christian, pagan or otherwise. I don't think anyone has an excuse for being rude, and I don't think rudeness should be encouraged. I don't like the "Christian" idea of being happy when people are rude and disrespectful to you because you are a Christian. I am disappointed to find people being rude for any reason - i don't care if they hate religion. Be respectful. I dont like it when Christians are disrespectful of other religions either. Most Christians are pretty ignorant about other religions, yet some of them joke about Mohammed in a way that we would be pretty peeved to hear someone joking about Christ. The golden rule is so....applicable. We arent told to treat people in some incredibly difficult to understand way. No. Just think of what we would like done to us, and do that to someone else. We know the standard, because we know how we would like to be treated! I love it. I think thats one of my favorite parts of Christianity. So practical. Its like a math formula. Or a logic proof. Or a physics problem. All sorts of comforting things like that.

It is May and I am still homesick. And yet, if I were here any longer I think it would be very hard to leave. I feel like I really have a place here. I wonder if sometimes I idealize home in my mind, and think, oh how wonderful it will be to be back home, in my fellowship, where I have a place and everyone knows me...because I have it pretty good here, and I may be real disappointed if I get home and everyone has changed and my snug little niche isnt there anymore. or maybe I'll find my struggling friends bitter and alienated, or maybe just find new people have moved in to take my place. It may be an adjustment, just coming back. I really like New Zealand, eh. I'm suprised at how well I've been able to create a stable life for myself here. Yet the thought of arriving home, with summer in full bloom, to months of romping around with Boo is quite appealling...I quite miss singing...

Knowing New Zealand

2006-03-24T22:28:00.000-08:00

I want to be intimate with New Zealand, not just run through it with a check off list. I want to know the plants, to see the birds, to befriend the people. I am gardening, digging my hands in New Zealand soil, making my way through New Zealand supermarkets, enduring abuse from my New Zealand friends. I want to get my hands dirty, I want to lose something here, I want to get my heart broken by New Zealand, so that when I leave I can say I lived here, and not that I just happened to be here for a while.

Tramping

2006-03-24T11:01:00.000-08:00

Tramping this weekend has been quite a learning experience. Most of all because I didn't actually go tramping. After a week of preparation, gathering and borrowing stuff, pyching myself up until I was actually quite excited about it, I woke up after exactly one hour of sleep and a miserable night on Sat morning with a sore throat and a head cold. God grant me the grace to accept the things I cannot change. I'm not that sick, but it seems irresponcible to go bush for the whole weekend if I'm already in poor health and might wake up tomorrow feeling terrible. I hope I can accept my own decision in this and not feel like I'm copping out.

Lessons from a foreigner

2006-03-20T22:20:00.000-08:00

Here's some of the frustrations I have being new to this area and temporary:

Tramsportation: This is the biggest thing. I am extreamly frustrated by how difficult it is to get around because I don't have a car or a bike, and especially when it comes to involvement with ICF and church, I am forced to rely on rides from people all the time, because nearly everything is a significant distance from campus and most events are at night, and now that daylight savings time has hit it gets dark early and it's not safe for me to walk. That drives me crazy too, that it's not safe here at night, because it is so limiting. One thing I very much miss about Geneseo. Other difficulties with getting around include not knowing the area very well and not having the contacts of people who might give me rides. But mostly i hate having to ask people for rides all the time. I wish I could do something for them in return, but I am dependent.

Stuff: Because I brought very little stuff over here, I am forced to buy or borrow a lot of things. Since I am only here temorarily, I try not to buy things I already have at home or wouldnt be able to bring back with me, so it seems logical to try to borrow things, but again, it makes me dependent on other people and there is not much I can do for them in return. I think thats the thing. I like when other poeple are able to serve me, and I like to serve them: what drives me crazy is the imbalance, where I am forced to rely on them and there's not much I can do for them in return. I am grateful. So grateful to all the people who have helped me out, given me rides, lent me stuff. I'm not even sure how to show them that in a socially appropriate way because maybe they don't appreciate displays of gratitude. I will have to ask someone about this.

So things for IVCF in Geneseo to consider:

Events on campus are much easier for new students and international students to get to.
Rides are a big deal. Offer them instead of waiting for someone to ask for one. Maybe have a pickup point on campus for events that are off campus (we usually do this).
Sit down and think about what an international student might need help with. Like, the simplest things we take for granted can be big obsticles. For example, I have been going to a bible study at someone's house, a 30 min walk from campus, difficult on a good day. Once daylight savings time hit, it is now dark when I would normally walk over there, so its now basically impossible for me to walk there safely.
Find a way for them to contribute something to the fellowship so they don't feel like leeches.

I think I will be more attentive to international students when I get back.

The American with the Fool's Face

2006-03-20T12:56:00.000-08:00

the American with the fool’s face –
she smiles a bit too much, but it seems sincere
her eyes dance and leap! and prawn like deer
and her enthusiasm is like an over boiling pot
or a child blowing bubbles in his milk – too much sugar in her tea, perhaps
she giggles a bit like a dizzy sot
but it’s obvious that she means to please

these Kiwi’s are a bit of a solemn lot
she thinks, although she finds them quite pleasant
they’re a bit more reserved then she’s used to at present
she misses her friends who make much of goodbyes
who hug her, call her dear, and in their replies
don’t hesitate to fluff them with warm reassurance
that their meetings must of course be a common occurrence

They can’t quite make each other out, as such
a dignified cat and a jolly-wag pup
but they both feel they like the other very much

Digestive Biscuits

2006-03-20T12:53:00.000-08:00

Digestive biscuits are frequently eaten in the UK with tea; the biscuit is partially dunked to soak up a small amount of tea, quickly removed, and the sodden part eaten. Coffee may also be used. The duration of dunking required is a matter of personal taste; however, it is limited by the biscuit's tendency to disintegrate when saturated, with the sodden part sinking into the bottom of the mug. The consumer is usually unaware of this until they raise the biscuit and find it is cut off at the water line.

wikipedia “digestive biscuit”

I found this really funny. I’m not exactly sure why. For all of you Americans, digestive biscuits are roughly equivalent to small round graham crackers.

Trying this out

2006-03-20T03:15:00.000-08:00

What a silly title for my blog. Its even a little self depricating. Oh well. This is the first blog I have ever set up. I'm nt sure whether its a good additionto my life, but it might get me to write more.

Oh, I just hate it when I inconveinience people I just met! One of the guys in ICF lent me all this tramping gear and I left it in someone's car. AHHH. I am quite frustrated because i dont have a car or even a bike to go get it with, so now I have to inconvienince either him or someone else to get it to me. Not a good way to recommend yourself to people.

Well, I havent contributed much to the world today. Maybe tomorrow I'll post a poem.